Teaching Emotional Intelligence: How to Help Children Express Their Feelings
This post on the Emotional Intelligence is written by Ilana Weinstein
Key Insights
- Create a Safe Space – A non-judgmental environment encourages children to express emotions openly.
- Use Visual Aids – Emotion charts help children identify and articulate their feelings.
- Model Healthy Expression – Children learn emotional management by observing adults.
- Incorporate Play – Role-playing and art help kids process emotions naturally.
- Expand Vocabulary – Teaching diverse emotion words improves communication and regulation.
As we grow older, the more we realize that emotional intelligence is arguably just as important as intellectual intelligence. Understanding and managing emotions can be challenging for children, especially when they don’t have the language to express what they’re feeling.
However, as caregivers and educators, we can help guide them through their emotional development.
Here are five effective ways to discuss emotions with children:
Create a Safe Space
The first step in helping children talk about their feelings is to create a safe, non-judgmental space where they feel comfortable expressing themselves. Let children know that all emotions are valid, whether they’re happy, sad, angry, or scared. You might say something like, “It’s okay to feel upset. I’m here to listen.” By reinforcing that their feelings matter, children will be more willing to open up about what’s going on inside. This supportive environment helps children feel understood and builds trust between them and the adults in their lives.
Use Emotion Charts or Visual Aids
Emotion charts are an incredibly helpful tool for all children, regardless of age or emotional vocabulary. These charts display different facial expressions and labels for various emotions, which children can refer to when trying to understand and express how they feel.
Even older children who have more vocabulary can benefit from this tool by recognizing their emotions visually. It’s also a great way for younger children to gain the language they need to articulate their feelings. Asking children to identify which emotion they’re feeling can open the door for further discussion about what’s going on internally.
Model Healthy Emotional Expression
Children often learn how to manage emotions by observing the adults around them. Make sure to model healthy emotional expression in your own life. Share your emotions with them in an appropriate way—saying, “I’m feeling frustrated because I’m running late, but I’m taking a deep breath to calm down.”
When children see that it’s okay to express emotions calmly and constructively, they are more likely to do the same. Modeling how to express emotions in a healthy way helps children see that it’s normal to feel various emotions and that it’s okay to work through them in a positive way.
Use Play to Discuss Feelings
Play is a natural way for children to explore their emotions. Role-playing games, art, or using toys to act out scenarios can help children express their feelings in a low-pressure setting. For example, you can use dolls or action figures to act out a situation where one character feels sad, and then talk through how to handle those feelings.
This can help children process their emotions in a fun and engaging way. Consider when children engage in pretend play. They not only learn to cope with their own emotions but also gain empathy by stepping into the shoes of others and understanding different emotional perspectives.
Introduce Emotional Vocabulary
The more words children have to describe their emotions, the better equipped they’ll be to express themselves. While words like “happy” and “sad” are essential, introducing more nuanced feelings like “frustrated,” “embarrassed,” or “grateful” can help children articulate their emotions more clearly. You can introduce these words in everyday situations by labeling emotions as they arise: “I can see you’re feeling frustrated because the puzzle is hard, but I know you can do it!”
Providing children with a diverse emotional vocabulary gives them the tools to more accurately communicate their internal experiences and helps them feel understood.
In Summary
By using these strategies, you can help children understand and manage their emotions in healthy ways, building their emotional intelligence and helping them navigate life’s ups and downs. The more equipped children are to express their feelings, the more confident they will be in their emotional well-being. Remember, the journey of emotional growth is ongoing, and with the right support, children will develop the skills they need to handle whatever comes their way.
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