How to Have Self-Compassion

This post on Self-Compassion is written by Victoria Stavropoulos

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As a new year begins, many of us feel motivated to make positive changes in our lives. This time of year, we set resolutions, ambitious goals, and high expectations for ourselves. In the rush to make change, we sometimes forget an important piece: treating ourselves with kindness. 

Self-compassion is extending kindness and understanding to ourselves in times of pain and failure. Developing a self-compassionate mindset helps us to grow resilience, emotional well-being, and actually helps us achieve our goals or resolutions more effectively! 

Here are some strategies to help us develop self-compassion in 2025: 

Accept Imperfections

Perfectionism often accompanies New Year’s resolutions, but striving for flawlessness can lead to early burnout and disappointment. Dr. Kristin Neff, an American psychologist, defined self-kindness as one of the three components that makes up self-compassion. Self-kindness encourages us to be warm to ourselves when we notice our shortcomings, instead of criticizing ourselves. Instead of berating yourself for missing a workout or indulging in a treat, acknowledge the slip-up without judgment and refocus on your intentions. 

When you’re feeling critical, pause and ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend in this situation?” 

Set Positive Goals

Many New Years resolutions stem from a desire to “fix” perceived flaws, such as losing weight or working harder. Self-compassion changes this narrative. Instead of punishing yourself, set goals that validate your needs. 

Ask yourself, “Does this resolution come from a place of self-care or self-criticism?” 

Embrace Failure

Resolutions often fail because we’re conditioned to view setbacks as evidence of inadequacy. Self-compassion shifts this perspective by framing failures as opportunities for learning. The second component that makes up self-compassion is common humanity. Common humanity encourages you to embrace failure as part of being human. Knowing you’re not alone in setbacks can ease feelings of isolation and build a sense of connection. When you stumble, instead of giving up, explore what went wrong and how you can adapt. 

When you feel a setback, remind yourself, “Others have felt this way too. I’m not alone in this experience.”

Prioritize Rest and Recovery

It can be easy to overlook the importance of rest when we are motivated to reach our goals. Self-compassion reminds us that rest is not laziness, but an important part of growth and healing. Make time for activities that heal your mind and body. 

Schedule “self-care time” into your week and treat it as a non-negotiable! 

Stay Mindful

Many of us have an inner critic that’s quick to point out flaws and failures. The third component of self-compassion is mindfulness. Mindfulness in self-compassion includes a non-judgmental, receptive state of mind where we can observe our thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them. Practicing mindfulness help us see our negative emotions or thoughts through a balanced approach. Mindfulness can help us to stay focused instead of ruminating. 

Spend a few minutes each day in mindful meditation! 

In Summary

Here are five key points from this blog post:

• Embrace imperfection with kindness
• Set goals from self-care, not criticism
• See failure as growth, not inadequacy.
• Rest and recovery are essential.
• Practice mindfulness for balance and focus.

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