Divorce’s Impact on the Family Dynamic
This post on Divorce is written by Marie Wiliszewski, MA
Parental separation or divorce does not just affect the parents, it affects the entire family dynamic. Children can feel this shift in family structure, especially if the child is alternating between both parent’s homes. This transition between the two households can be challenging for kids. Some of the challenges may include changes in rules or expectations, the stress of not knowing, and dynamic changes. Changing the structure and daily routine can add a source of stress to the child’s life.
Being mindful of the transition period allows parents to help prepare their children. One technique that can help to ease the stress of transitions is an object, such as a stuffed animal for a young child or a picture with the family. By having a transitional object, the child’s stress will decrease. The object allows the child to connect to one or both parents and comfort as they navigate a new territory.
Communication can play an important part in the transition. Letting the child know about the difference in rules from one house to another can help ease them into the transitions. Acknowledging the difference in rules and expectations allows the child to pair which rules are associated with which household. This removes the child’s need to guess what is expected of them can decrease their stress and increase their comfort.
Filling in the “blanks” in the child’s knowledge of the transition is another way to help decrease worries about the unknown. This may include letting the child know who is going to pick them up at what time and where pick up is located. The same goes for drop-off. Telling the child what to expect and giving them time to process what is going to happen will give them a basis to go off of. This will allow for a smoother transition.
Another way to be mindful of this transition is to allow for warm-up time. With the warm-up time, the child can have a period where they can reorientate themselves to their new environment and the difference in expectations. Going from one environment to another in a short time can be overwhelming. Warm-up time is a good way to help ease them into their new environment.
Remembering that children transitioning houses can be stressful and scary, but finding ways to help decrease the unknown is valuable. Not two children are the same, and what may work for one may not work for another. Do not be afraid to ask the child what is causing stress with the transition for them, since they are the ones that are experiencing it. Change can be a scary topic, especially if this change does affect the whole family.
Check out our other popular blog posts: